What's Wrong with Love?

What's Wrong with Love?
by john heisel


When someone stops loving you, how do you just stop loving them?

It's been almost a month. This Friday is one month. I can't believe it. It's gone by so fast.

I saw Sling Blade tonight. It was an excellent movie. I laughed and I almost cried at points. Billy
Bob Thornton (?) is an excellent actor. And he was even in a Troma film! (Chopper Chicks from
Zombietown).

I am listening to View of the Rain by Urge Overkill and when it's done, rather than listen to the
rest of the cd, I will put on the Alkaline Trio.

I wish there was someone I could talk to.

There's this really cool girl who lives in the house that I live in here. But there's
this other guy who lives here who seems to have already decided that she's the one for
him. So I have to try to restrain what I am feeling until their relationship is defined. I mean
shit, she's lived here less than a week! And this guy seems to fall in love with any girl who will
give him the time of day.

I don't know.

She makes me laugh. I like that. She makes me feel good. I like that. She makes flirtatious
comments. I like that, of course.

There are other girls here that I like here at school. But I think they all have boyfriends. Why is
that? I always hear girls say that all the good guys are taken, but I think all the good girls must
be, too. I guess that makes sense, mostly. Except I feel that I am a pretty good guy, and I know
that there are some pretty shitty guys out there with more relationship luck than me.

View of the Rain ended, quick gotta put the Alkaline Trio on, but damnit I like this song too,
maybe I'll revisit this CD after the Trio stop serenading me through earphones.

Okay, the Trio is on.

Music is a savior and simultaneously something bad (I don't know, what's the opposite of a
savior?). What I mean is, listening to music makes me feel great to know that someone else feels or
has felt the same way I do, but it's also kind of depressing when you realize you're not the only
person who's ever fallen in love or been jilted or whatever.

sigh.

New Built to Spill album comes out in a few weeks and I can't fucking wait.

I'm going to try to stop smoking soon too. Maybe when this pack of American Spirit runs out. I like
these cigarettes, but my lungs are starting to hurt, I can't run, and generally don't like things.

I guess when you're at the bottom things can only get better.

Wish me luck. 
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