Coaches, Businessmen and Jocks

Coaches, Businessmen and Jocks
by ron provine

     It is a land of big, big fields and tiny, tiny minds.  And upon
each of those fields there seems to be a rusty, rattly windmill--a
windmill so lonely and desolate Don Quixote himself wouldn't attack
it.  We are driving through Iowa to go to Northwest Missouri State
University for a college speech tournament.
     Interestingly, we had to stay the night before in Des Moines
Iowa, about two and a half hours away from the tournament, because
hunting season had opened.  Every motel hotel and chicken coop for 150
miles around NWMU was booked.  At first it was hard to believe that
hunting was such a big deal--during the drive, I came to understand. 
If I lived my life in this wasteland, I would eagerly await the
opportunity to kill things without fear of legal penalties as well.
     It was a long drive and I was too tired to talk, so my thoughts
began to wander back to Nazi Germany, and how lucky we were to have
won that war.  Can you imagine living in a world in which the Nazis
had won?
     First of all, minority groups would not be safe.  There would
probably be stories on the news all the time, in such a world, about
how people were beaten up and even killed over the colour of their
skin, their religious beliefs, or whom they wished to fuck.
     And the culture would be thoroughly saturated with anger and
violence.  Sure, there would be tough laws against committing crimes,
but most crimes, especially those committed against minorities, would
remain unsolved.  If the poor people had a disagreement, they would be
likely to feel too disempowered to seek any legal or rational means of
resolution.  They would probably just shoot each other over it.
     Talk about your class structure and social Darwinism!  Most
people would probably feel, and the politicians would proclaim, that
the poor were poor by choice.  Those who needed assistance in order to
make ends meet would be looked down upon and degraded.  And their
children, by virtue of where they grew up, would receive wretched
     There would probably be some schools, where all the Aryans who
made a lot of money sent their kids, that had the finest in everything
and sent almost all of their students on to good colleges where they
would become future leaders.  Other schools, where the poor sent their
children, would be ill-equipped and even dangerous to attend, because
the pent-up frustration would lead to violence.
     Of course, this regime would be obsessed with appearing
legitimate to its prosperous citizens, so careful lies would be
constructed about how everybody had a chance to be a success and how
those who did not make something of themselves missed out on those
opportunities, probably because they were using drugs or just plain
stupid.  In fact, a few poor children, who learned how to market
themselves as appealling whores to the upper class and how to bare
their teeth like wild animals to their empoverished neighbors would
gain immense material advantage.  And the lie, that the rich were rich
because they were uber-men and women, would continue.
     Such a society would place all its trust in science and
technology.  Those who had interests in other aspects of life, in the
humanities or in music, might be allowed to live, but would assuredly
not prosper unless they made state-sanctioned art that helped to
opiate the masses and encourage apathy and a gluttonous satisfaction
among the common rabble.
     It would be a society rigidly divied by looks and status.  There
would be military uniforms to be sure, but then also stringently
adhered to fashion guidelines by the masses which served as uniforms. 
Certain outfits would be very high status, and expensive.  Those who
could afford to clad themselves in such garments would be respected
and admired.  Those who had to settle for less, would be vaguely
looked down upon--not officially to be certain, but in perception of
their fellow citizens.
     Strict standards of physical attraction would be societally
enforced.  Though of course there would be no need for official
written guidelines, by the use of popular culture and the media,
little boy and girls would learn how attractive members of the
opposite sex *should* look and act.  Those who did not meet the molds
of physical attractiveness would be outcast and shunned.
     Senseless, stupid competition would be encouraged and toward this
end, professional sports would be hugely popular.  Citizens would
learn the only acceptable way to play is to win.  And males who were
able to bash in other males' skulls, either in sport or in business or
some other meaningful competition, would be handsomely rewarded.
     Of course such a society would always secretly know that it had
come into existence because a group of men, motivated chiefly for
profit and glory, had overthrown a weak and confused government, and
that in order to gain control of the land in which they found
themselves they had enslaved, tortured, and killed whole races of
people.  But this would not be discussed much in the open, and
occaisonally bones would be tossed to surviving members of these
groups, to keep them fat and apathetic just like everybody else.
     As we pull into the university, I try to imagine what living in a
world like that would be like....
home...columns index...