Lonely Kings - What If?
Yeah, see, right off, the biggest problem with this
album is that it just isn't very good. At all.
I forget what the press release said about the album,
but whatever it said was a pack of vicious lies, I
have no doubt. Here, let me write my own press
release for it:
NEW! By the Lonely Kings: What if? Well, the
title says it all, as this trio from shitville once
again invades our aural regions with more
uber-standard tunes that sound like Samiam trying to
sound like the Foo Fighters. Jesse Darling keeps
thumping on that bass. It's taken him hours and hours
of practice to sound so average. And what can we say
about Jason Wilkinson? He'll do until the boys can
afford to buy a drum machine. Jake Desrochers conveys
all the subtle innuendo of a difficult but terminally
uninteresting life as he sings songs like "Run away to
Spain" and Money. The lyrics capture all the
clumsiness and none of the beauty of the modern scene.
Maybe there is no beauty left. If you want some,
don't look here! And don't look here for insight,
either. The lyrics could have been written by a shop
class at Shitville High. There is some spoken word by
some aging or dead beatnik on All Nighter. Even if
you like that sort of thing, it doesn't make up for
the rest of the suck-a-licious album. Listen to this
if you really care about the modern Scene, because the
more you suffer, the more it shows you really care.
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