Lonely Kings - What If?
Fearless Records

Yeah, see, right off, the biggest problem with this
album is that it just isn't very good.  At all. 
I forget what the press release said about the album,
but whatever it said was a pack of vicious lies, I
have no doubt.  Here, let me write my own press
release for it:

NEW! By the Lonely Kings: What if? Well, the title says it all, as this trio from shitville once again invades our aural regions with more uber-standard tunes that sound like Samiam trying to sound like the Foo Fighters. Jesse Darling keeps thumping on that bass. It's taken him hours and hours of practice to sound so average. And what can we say about Jason Wilkinson? He'll do until the boys can afford to buy a drum machine. Jake Desrochers conveys all the subtle innuendo of a difficult but terminally uninteresting life as he sings songs like "Run away to Spain" and Money. The lyrics capture all the clumsiness and none of the beauty of the modern scene. Maybe there is no beauty left. If you want some, don't look here! And don't look here for insight, either. The lyrics could have been written by a shop class at Shitville High. There is some spoken word by some aging or dead beatnik on All Nighter. Even if you like that sort of thing, it doesn't make up for the rest of the suck-a-licious album. Listen to this if you really care about the modern Scene, because the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care. Right? YEAH!
...ron provine...

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